


Ripped Apart

by Fearain



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, star wars the rise of skywalker
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Character Death, F/M, Feels, First Kiss, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Headcanon, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Reylo - Freeform, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, The Force, but still, life force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21978889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearain/pseuds/Fearain
Summary: SPOILER FOR TROSfix-it no. 2911479350 but I need my babies to be happy together in the end and will try to get away from the clichees after the obligatory beginning.Rey cannot bare losing Ben and Leias interestingly timed death has her on a mission to rescue her other half. (as accurately in-canon as it can be,, rewriting a death to a... kinda non death? maybe force ghosts)[loosely based on that headcanon/textpost about leia giving her life force for ben]
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Ripped Apart

**Author's Note:**

> based on that headcanon/textpost about leia giving her life force for ben.... (spoilers i guess)

The last thing she saw were stars, twinkling above her mixed together with the signallights of the victorious resistance ships before the stars got drowned out by the black nothingness of space around them.

Her body had given in, her mind slowly pulling away from the world of the living, a pull she couldn't resist. She was laying there for seconds, eons, days or only minutes - she didn't feel them anymore.

Until there was tug. A tug at the last glimmering spark of life inside her core, familiar and comforting and foreign all at once. Her core embraced the new life force flowing through her, winding around it and intertwining them even further until she felt it extend to her the rest of her body; her sense of touch registering the warm presence of his embrace first.

Her fingers gripped his warm hand on her belly and her eyes focused on his brown eyes, weary but full of relief. She felt her first intake breath down to the tips of her toes and at the same time not at all, all of her senses focused on him, his warmth, his life force flowing through her, the gentleness of his arms cradling her body.

All her thoughts were circling only around one thing.

“ _Ben_ “

Words couldn't seem to come to her in that second and as she searched his face he seemed to be caught up in the same way, just studying her face.

But they both felt it. The air was simultaneously overcharged, charred and deafeningly quiet. His hand raised minutely where it rested on her stomach and she could feel his pulse racing where her fingers grazed his neck and the side of his face. They both felt it.

So they poured every emotion they had into the touch of their lips.

 _I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I thought you didn't make it. I can't bear to live in this world without you. You complete me. Do you feel it too? You're not alone. I lo-_ She couldn't separate which thoughts were his and which hers, whose sensations she was feeling because they were one, two halves of a whole, a dyad in the force, one soul residing in two bodies. And now one life force doing the same.

As intertwined as they were internally, externally they broke apart for air and Rey could feel Ben's contentment, his soft smile radiating happiness. They weren't alone. Would never be alone again.

She mirrored his smile for all of second when she felt him slip, feeling the pull he was feeling through their bond.

His life force sieving through her fingers so fast she felt like a limb was being ripped off from her very insides. “No no No _NO Ben_!“

Her scream of anguish got stuck in her throat as he vanished taking the serene peacefulness from just moments ago with him, the pain of being ripped apart from the inside choking up every sound. Gasping for air and still with shock, she wished that it had been her.

With her brain stumbling and all her rational thoughts ripped away from her together with Ben's warmth, some autopilot part seemed to kick in, noticing the massive crumbling stone around her, urging her to get into her X-wing and go. She followed numbly, but not before she reached out a trembling hand, summoning the lightsabers in one hand and his robes in the other.

She didn't know how she made it back to the resistance base in one piece.

*~*

Rey landed Luke's old ship in the midst of celebrations going on all around her and she wanted to join in, drink on their victory but she had never felt less in a mood for festivities.

After saying Hi to BB-8, Finn and Poe spotted her at the same time as she was tentatively reaching out to sense them in the crowd of people, the connection to the Force leaving a dull, throbbing ache inside her chest where their bond was missing.

“Rey!”

The warmth of their hugs and the relief that they had made it out alive made breathing a little easier. Finn didn't pull back all the way. “How did you-? You didn't make it... I felt you--” Poe's intake of breath was sharp – concerning the things Finn was describing or what he had just revealed about himself – Rey couldn't be bothered discerning between the two. But she also didn't have an answer for Finn.

“I--” How should she go on? What could she tell them? What did she have to tell them? But now people were starting to pay attention to them, trying to get a gist of the highest news – from their generals and still-alive-Jedi. She felt all their eyes and stares on them and Finn got fidgety too.

“Maybe let us find a place a bit more-” Finn stopped as Maz appeared at their side, nudging her head, gesturing for them to follow.

“I need to show you something. And you can talk with a little more privacy.”

They slipped through the crowd easily, who seemed to have gotten the message and continued their talks amongst themselves, trusting that their leaders would brief them on anything important later on.

For Rey, every step dragged on harder than the last and even without the inscriptions on the cards and bouquets, she knew this is where General Organa (“ _It's_ Leia _, Rey_ ”) had rested. The similarity of the feel of her Force signature to Ben's was staggering but her companions didn't comment of her heavy breathing and shaking hands.

“What's this all about Maz?” Poe's voice, though subdued in their setting, hadn't lost its demanding tone.

“You felt her go, didn't you?” Maz's gaze wandered over Finn, who gave a short nod at which Poe did a double take but she only graced him with a small smile. She then looked at Rey, asking one of the questions she didn't expect, as per usual. “When?”

A shudder went through Rey's body, the hairs on her arms rising. “On the Death Star, she helped him....”, her rough whisper broke of.

“But just at the end of the battle, there was this surge of power-- and I've been around her a lot, I thought I'd recognize it... and she...faded?” Finn got a slow nod in response from Maz.

“Exactly. I was here with her, just a little time ago now, when her body became one with the Force.” Maz's piercing gaze was on Rey again and she could see her piecing together her theory already. “It wasn't too long ago that Leia let go, that she released her hold on the last of her life force. But why did she wait? Why this exact moment? Why didn't she just go before? She had the power to do it.”

The possible rest of the conversation was lost to Rey, because a spark of hope had ignited deep inside of her and although she knew them to be treacherous and dangerous, she couldn't help but answer its call.

**Author's Note:**

> i know i'm late to the party and you've all probably read all the fixits already and cannot be bothered but if anybody's interested in more (the rest? it's probs like 3 chapters in total idk) leave a comment! i have most of it somewhere (a lotta finn in there for the next bit woooo) and would try n go thru my shitty notes from a week ago when all this just had to get outta my brain. cheers xx


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